buckdata – news and views for an unquiet age

buckdata – news and views for an unquiet age header image 1

Another Candidate for President?

November 22nd, 2011 · 3 Comments

After the Supreme Court’s opinion last year in Citizens United, which effectively declared that corporations can be treated as humans, I urged that votes be given to dogs, as well. Now, having observed the Republican frontrunners, I realize I may have done my dog a disfavor.

It shouldn’t just be votes for dogs. Porschy should aim higher. She should run for president herself. She’s qualified. She is smarter than Perry, better informed than Cain (I talk to her a lot about public affairs, and even a casual listener would have an idea what’s going on in Libya.) Unlike Gingrich, she has never orchestrated a government shut-down.

She is not cruel: she has never promoted waterboarding or executing anybody; she is firmly opposed to electrified fences. She would take me to the vet if I needed it without even asking whether I was insured.

Porschy has been consistent and unwavering about these positions. Further, she is popular with pets and pet owners to boot. She has never, ever, put anyone into a dog carrier on a luggage rack (even one with a windshield) during our seasonal trips to the inlaws’ place in L.A.

If the GOP frontrunners were all who were running, I wouldn’t hesitate to form an exploratory committee and set up a Super PAC: Pooches for Prosperity. I’ve already taught her to answer to the words “President Porschy.”

But oops – she’s probably too smart, I might not be able to talk her into running. I’ll have to beg.

Tags: American Grotesque

3 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Jan // Nov 22, 2011 at 7:40 pm

    Porshy’s problem is that she won’t lie, except to take a nap.

  • 2 Margaret Murray // Dec 13, 2011 at 6:41 am

    Sorry Porsche, but there’s another even better Candidate for President than any the Republicans can muster up! My German Shepherd, Ele (for Elegant) is a great listener with a decisive action-oriented approach to any crisis–barking, lunging, growling. In our long–one way conversations–she has indicated by her soulful looks and sighs that she can do the same for the out-of-work and disenfranchised citizens of America. Ele for President in 2012!

  • 3 S. Buck // Dec 18, 2011 at 11:13 am

    Bravo, Ele! May the best man dog prevail!

Leave a Comment